Thursday, December 9, 2010

Wikileaks - Who's that lady? (Who's that lady) Beautiful lady...

Anna Ardin

When Sweden native Anna Ardin threw a party in honor of WikiLeak's founder,  Julian Assange, he had no idea that she would be one of his accusers only four months later.

According to AOL News,  Swedish Authorities have confirmed that Mr. Assange is not wanted for rape but for "sex by surprise" or "unexpected sex".  Take a moment to think on this.  When was the last time you had unexpected sex?   Would sex by surprise be something that you get from a dick in a box?

Australian News site, reports that left wing feminist Anna Ardin, one of two original accusers of Mr. Assange, has stopped cooperating with Swedish authorities and her own lawyer and has left Sweden for....wait for it....the Palestinian territories!  This story writes itself. writes,

Ardin, who also goes by the name Bernardin, has moved to the West Bank in the Palestinian Territories, as part of a Christian outreach group, aimed at bringing reconciliation between Palestinians and Israelis. 

According a report in The Raw Story, Julian Assange
Sofia Wilen
had consensual, protected sex with Anna's friend, Sofia Wilen. However, at a certain point during the sexual act, his condom failed resulting in an unexpected sexual event.  Ms.Wilen did not appreciate Mr. Assange's failure to control the event, believing that there was an intent to cause the malfunction.

Being familiar with the quality control of condoms through personal experience, we can report with a relative degree of certainty that condoms can malfunction. This can be due to a variety of reasons ranging from faulty manufacturing, improper sizing, and over exuberance during use. Swedish prosecutor, Marianne Ny, will have a hard time proving this case.

In the second event, Mr. Assange allegedly had protected consensual sex in the evening with Anna Ardin, then the next morning, they had unprotected consensual sex.  In our experience, the morning after sex is usually due to a continuation of passion that has not yet abated.  Unfortunately, most men only carry one condom at a time in their wallet. Ms. Ardin later became uncomfortable with the unexpected morning sex and filed a complaint with the Swedish police.  Mr. Assange's sexual adventures with both women allegedly occurred within one week of each other.  Did he expect that these two women would not compare notes?
Swedish Prosecutor Marianne Ny

It is entirely possible that Ms. Ardin became uncomfortable at about the moment she discovered Julian Assange also had an unexpected sexual event with Ms. Wilen.  Mr Assange is now learning three valuable lessons in his Westminster jail cell- next time you have sex with two Swedish women, make certain they are in the same bed with you at the same time, bring more than one condom, buddy- you're gonna need 'em, and never underestimate how far The Company will go to ruin you.'s Israel Shamir and Paul Bennett summed up Mr. Assange's behavorial problem quite nicely when they wrote ,

Julian Assange now stands accused of: (1) not calling a young woman the day after he had enjoyed a night with her, (2) asking her to pay for his bus ticket, (3) having unsafe sex, and (4) participating in two brief affairs in the course of one week. 

As President Clinton famously once said,  "I feel your pain."

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