|Nice Graphic: Stolen then Released|
This story keeps twisting and turning in a hundred directions. CNN reports that Julian Assange, founder of WikiLeaks and number one enemy of embarrassed governments worldwide, has been ordered to jail by an English Magistrate- do not pass secrets, do not collect 200 dollars. Mr. Assange would not provide the judge with a permanent address, making him a "flight risk". We're almost certain Julian wants to tell the whole world where he lives, but that would be kind of a dumb idea, considering the tense situation over at the WikiLeak Alamo. Even the Mexican Army is ready to kick down his front door.
Mr. Assange has a response for Goverment leaders who want him taken out. He has prepared a massive, encrypted file, which has been downloaded to 100,000 users. If anything unfortunate happens to Mr. Assange, such as his untimely demise, his city-sized accomplices will be given the key to unlock the file, which his attorney referred to as a "thermonuclear device". We were wondering if that was an exaggeration?
|Always Reliable Toyota Truck|
We thought diplomats had more of a public relations job. Hey, diplomatic list-making person- have you added the power plant on River Road to your list of American sites? Just curious, because I noticed that the guard shack is occupied by a 70-year old, 5'4" tall, retired district justice, some razor wire, and a few cameras. Looks a bit sketchy to us, better classify this TOP SECRET.
|A Real Al Qaeda List|
By the way, who has the list of locations where Osama Bin Laden is hiding? It has been nine years since he murdered nearly 4,000 U.S. citizens on our native soil. Someone should get on that ASAP.
We would like to help the major world powers get their priorities straight. We've prepared our own list:
1. Free Julian Assange
2. Catch Bin Laden
Any questions? Now off you go, hard-working diplomats.