Are Virtual Servers a Scam? My conversation with customer service at Dreamhost.com

Last September we started another blog. Not here are Google but using Wordpress with a private hosting company named Dreamhost.  This company was highly recommended in two recent How-To books about WordPress.

When our WordPress blog first came online we were surprised at the positive response from the readers.  I had been blogging consistently here at TMMC for several months and our readership here was good.  Over the five years we've been a blog, we had reached 40,000 page views at Mutant Mouse and were averaging 50 views a day.    At our WordPress blog we exceeded that number within 7 weeks. We were very surprised.  But two months after our launch, our new blog went haywire.  We couldn't access the site, readers were getting the 404 page error - the entire site was a huge mess.

Then we received an email from our provider, Dreamhost.  We had exceeded our capacity and we needed to move to a virtual server (VPS) to solve memory problems.  There was an additional cost, but we could start with lower memory maximum and then manage our resources by sliding up our usage. If our site became too memory greedy, just push the slider up (click and drag) and we would have more memory instantly- albeit at a higher cost.  We agreed, paid our fee and within a short period of time we were back to normal.

A few weeks after committing an additional eighteen dollars ($18.00) a month ($216.00 per year), we received another email from Dreamhost telling us that there had been a spike in our service and our virtual server had to reboot. We could solve this problem by simply clicking through to our Resource Management Page to slide the bar up for a higher memory limit.  Of course, as we slid the bar, the cost went up.  I looked at my memory usage on the bar graph provided by Dreamhost on the same page and there was no indication that we had come within a hundred megabytes of our maximum of 300 MB (at $18.00 per month).  We were using 50-100MG of memory with one spike to 200MG.

Nevertheless,  I raised the amount to around 350MG and all was well again.  Now I was up to an additional 20 dollars a month ($240.00 per year) over our original monthly hosting cost. Suddenly we were 240 dollars over our budget for the year for a virtual server (VPS) to host our blog at um..yeah, that highly recommended Dreamhost company.

What were we posting that was causing all these memory problems?  I was writing reviews of albums, embedding YouTube videos, and posting short audio clips.   We were receiving about 800-1000 hits per day from approximately 300 unique visitors.  We were not setting the world on fire but it seemed like a lot to us.

The Dreamhost reboot server emails kept coming and I kept checking the bar graph each time and each time there was no evidence of a spike large enough to require a reboot.  I upped the slider bar a second time. Now we were paying 22.00 a month extra  ($264.00 per year).

On December 26th, I received a re-boot email immediately after I posted an embedded video. I quickly surfed like a pro to Dreamhost's webpanel and guess what? No record of a spike.   So I sent a chat request to Dreamhost customer service.  Here is the transcript of our chat:

General Info
Chat start time	Dec 26, 2011 6:00:09 PM EST
Chat end time	Dec 26, 2011 6:20:16 PM EST
Duration (actual chatting time)	00:20:06
Operator	Jeremy T.

Chat Transcript

info: Please wait for a site operator to respond. info: You are now chatting with 'Jeremy T.' Jeremy T.: hi there! how can I hepl you? richard: I have a question. Why do I keep getting emails telling me I've used up my allocated memory on the server and when I go to look at the graphs..I am not even CLOSE to uising that much memory.. Jeremy T.: The graphs can't show it when you hit the limit as they only update every few minutes. richard: I have 374MB and I have never exceeded 200mb richard: but I go back and check..and I have NOT ONCE exceeded 300mb and I am allocated 374mb richard: Im concerned about this Jeremy T.: The graph only checks once, every few minutes. It isn't capable of showing a spike that takes you over your memory limit. richard: but wouldnt I see the spike at some point? richard: look at my graphs.. Jeremy T.: The graphs can't show a spike. That's the entire reason why we email you when it happens. richard: there is no spike is what Im trying to explaint to you. richard: the spike is well under..100mb under my limit Jeremy T.: I know it doesn't seem like there was, but as I was saying, the graph only checks the server once every few minutes. Between those intervals, your memory usage is unrecorded. That's when you would have hit your limit. richard: if that is fact, then why wouldnt I see the spike in my history at some point? Jeremy T.: Because it would have happened in between graph points, when your server isn't checked. richard: so you have a graph that does not show the peak points? Jeremy T.: Unfortunately, that's correct. THat's the reason why we send you an email when you hit your limit, so you can know when exactly this happens. richard: therefore the graph is useless. richard: because ti does not accurately show my peak usage Jeremy T.: I'm afraid that it is not useful for troubleshooting memory spikes. richard: so your email points me to a graph that does not show the peak that exceeds my limit, correct? Jeremy T.: Correct, as that is the page where you can increase your memory allocation. richard: This is a serious flaw and I cant but wonder if it is an intentional sales gimmick.. You provide no tangible proof that I have actually exceeded my limit. I may have to consider moving to a different host when my time expires in February unless I can get a better result, Jeremy. Jeremy T.: I'm afraid that we can't troubleshoot your memory usage for you, but you can follow the steps in these articles to get an idea of what's going on: Jeremy T.: http://wiki.dreamhost.com/Finding_Causes_of_Heavy_Usage Jeremy T.: http://wiki.dreamhost.com/PS_Optimization Jeremy T.: http://wiki.dreamhost.com/DreamHost_PS_Troubleshooting richard: nope..already done it. If I have exceeded my limit..SHOW ME the data richard: I wuld like to know what my peak usage was Jeremy T.: Your VPS is killed as soon as it hits the limit. Jeremy T.: So your peak usage is whatever you currently have allocated. Jeremy T.: As soon as it hits that mark, it gets restarted and you get sent that email. richard: so you can provide a graph showing when I hit that limit? Jeremy T.: Not currently. That is why we send you the email. richard: ok..I am going to file a ticket/complaint over this. I want to know the exact time I hit my limit. The server records the reboot and I will need that time to compare against my posts.  info: Your chat transcript will be sent to fishfirewrite@gmail.com at the end of your chat. richard: thank you for your time, Jeremy. Jeremy T.: Have a good day, then!

I didn't file the ticket.  What's the use? I accepted the fact that Dreamhost was not capable or willing to help me, and that their graph misrepresented our usage. I would begin searching for a new host provider.   I began to ask friends and found another company, in case I needed to switch.   My favorite quote in the customer service chat was the amazingly clueless "I'm afraid we can't troubleshoot your memory usage for you.."    Someone high up at Dreamhost should look up the definition of SERVICE.    


Here Are My Top Ten Reasons For Leaving Dreamhost

1. Dreamhost is the one  that told us that we needed this special server.
2. Dreamhost is the one who told us the memory on the new VPS wasn't large enough 
3. Dreamhost is the one providing the virtual server to us at an additional cost per month.
4. Dreamhost is the one who kept sending us emails that we exceeded our memory allotment.
5. Dreamhost is the one who directed us to the memory usage graph page to review our history.
6. Dreamhost is the one who provides the graph that tracks memory usage.
7. Dreamhost is the one who clocks memory usage spikes that force a reboot at our max usage.
8. Dreamhost installed software that generates and sends an email at the moment the computer reboots.
9. Dreamhost installed software for a graph that conveniently does not show peak memory usage.   
10. Dreamhost's entire VPS system crashed in January putting thousands of websites in the dark


Dreamhost, I'm afraid we can't troubleshoot your VPS server failure for you. 

Here is a redacted copy of the form letter that Dreamhost sent when we allegedly exceeded the limit:

DreamHost VPS Stability Robot no-reply@dreamhost.com	Jan 23 (5 days ago)
to me

 Hi richard!

 Nobody likes to hear that they've packed on a few pounds, but we wanted you to hear it from a friend.

 Your DreamHost VPS, ps73610, has just exceeded the memory allocation that you've established.  If left unchecked that behavior could begin to negatively impact the VPS services of every other customer on your server.

 As a result we've had to reboot your VPS, effectively restarting your virtual machine.  You may experience several minutes of downtime while your services come back online.

 Based on the usage pattern that we've seen today, it's clear that you'd be best served by either working to reduce your memory footprint or simply increasing the amount of memory available to your VPS.

 We've put together some documentation that can help you troubleshoot and even reduce your current memory usage:
 http://wiki.dreamhost.com/DreamHost_PS_Troubleshooting
 http://wiki.dreamhost.com/PS_Optimization

 Remember, you can visit https://panel.dreamhost.com/index.cgi?tree=vserver.usage to scale your memory allocation up (or down) whenever you'd like!

 Strictly speaking, you don't HAVE to take any action right now, but if your memory usage continues to routinely exceed the allocation level you've specified, you may experience more brief periods of downtime as your services are restarted.  You may also get sick of seeing this message in your inbox. Unfortunately there's not much that we can do about either, so we hope you'll consider upgrading!

 Thank you for choosing DreamHost!

 Sincerely,
 The Humble DreamHost VPS Stability Robot
 http://www.dreamhost.com/

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3/4/12 Update

There is a happy ending.  I moved the site over to another company and there hasn't been a hint of a problem and even more interesting is this fact- when the new company analyzed our traffic and usage, they determined that we didn't even need virtual servers and set us up on a shared server- exactly where we started with Dreamhost in September of 2011.  

Was this all a ruse by Dreamhost to extract more money from our pocket?  If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is either a duck or an insurance company!   But who really knows?  Perhaps Dreamhost has shoddy equipment, or haven't upgraded fast enough to keep up with the amount of traffic coming in to THEIR servers. All I know for certain is Dreamhost can't help troubleshoot my memory problem because I have no memory problem.  I vividly remember my bad Dreamhost experience.  Just like I remember every other nightmare - right after I wake up.

Diffle County Report: Three Yellow Roses For You, Darling

Big Don says Father Figure started it.  Father Figure says  Larry started it. Larry blamed it on the kid.   While scraping the shoulder of Township Road #639 with the backhoe (helps keep rainwater from ponding on the road), the road department found dirty plastic flowers lying on the shoulder.  They were the kind of flowers that you buy at the dollar store and stab into the grave-ground of your least favorite Aunt.  That way you won't have to visit her as often.  Plastic lasts a long time.

The flowers were picked up off the side of the road, brought back to the maintenance garage, then placed on the meeting room table at the Grinold Township Muncipal Building.  They were the nastiest, weather-beaten plastic flowers anyone had ever seen.  A few minutes after we arrived for work, Big Don walked in to the room. He picked the skanky flowers up and looked them over.

"These will be perfect for my wife's birthday."  Don said with a matter-of fact smile.   "I won't have to pay a cent for them, and now I can afford lunch and dinner with my sweetie at the County Fair. Larry, thank the kid for me when you see him. "

Larry shook his head. "Don, don't you think she will be offended?"  he asked.

"Why would she be offended? Big Don looked slightly puzzled.  "She loves sausage sandwiches!"

(You know that moment when you fully realize you won't win the debate?   Larry was already there.)

"I meant the flowers.  Don't you think she will be offended?"  Larry was becoming exasperated, the look of defeat creeping onto his face.

Big Don gave  one of his crafty old smiles.   "Larry,  it's our twentieth anniversary. What kind of husband would I be if I didn't bring flowers home?  There isn't a better dinner than sausage sandwiches at the County Fair and a paper plate dessert of  Funnel Cake. Of course, we'll have to clean these flowers up first."

Then he paused a moment, let out a dramatic sigh, shook is head and concluded,  "Frankly, I don't know how I do it all."   Then he grinned huge and we burst out laughing.

The very next day, Big Don walked in carrying three long stemmed yellow roses.  They were beautiful.  They were perfect.  They were plastic.   Larry, the kid, Father Figure, Horst and I were sitting around the meeting room table, drinking our morning coffee (courtesy of Horst M. Slavic Plumbing and Heating) and reading local obituaries out loud.

Horst:  Oh my, did ya see that there Mrs. Baldinger died.  She was 86 years old.  Now look a her, she's dead.
Larry:  Yep, she's dead. dead and dead.
Father Figure:  Well, I seem to remember her husband got into a mess downtown once..the police caught him dressed like woman stealing bras from J.J. Newberry's.  She was never the same after that.
the kid:  Why, because she didn't have any bras to wear?
Larry:  Well, that had to be a helluva a long time ago. Newberry's closed down 20 years ago.
Father Figure: I ain't getting any younger.  I only got one thing that still works. (looks down at his crotch)
the kid:  Yeah, that's how YOU remember it.

At this point Big Don jumped into the conversation.  "Etta Baldinger was a good friend of my mothers. She used to come over to visit.  I don't know how mom could stand her.  The woman never bathed a day in her life. Mom would clean for two hours after Etta went home." Then with hardly a pause, "Ricky, does your sweetie have a special day soon?"

I looked up from the Sports page of Diffle County Reporter that I was barely reading. "Her birthday is next week."

"Good, give her these flowers and when she is done with them, bring them back and one of us can use them for our wives.  She's from Texas.  Give your yellow rose a yellow rose."

The men chuckled and then Larry asked, "Don, what happened to the other flowers?

Big Don shook his head.  "That didn't go over as well as I expected.  They are back on the side of the road again. They flew right out the window. But I have higher hopes with the yellow roses."

  

  

The Staves - Mexico

perfect harmonies!

Speed of light 'broken' by scientists - Telegraph

Speed of light 'broken' by scientists - Telegraph:

Coming up next....Warp 1

The River Whispers

You sang your siren song 
tumbled over the ringing rocks

"come in and play", you whispered

your gentle laughter 

dancing under green leaves

But I am tender, old,  in my decline

I have no use for silly water slides

"come in and play", you whispered

splashing gaily at the butterflies

Then I desired you

young buck in love, 

hard and ready, 

ramming for desire,

 ideal man of action, 

"jump in and play" I shouted, overcome

invincible,  the bold power of youth

in my present condition.

The raft was too tiny and small, 

the water too fast

to chance it at all. I relapsed,

floating bean in the shallow end

"come in and play", you danced, your

sunlight prisms trapping the water ripples

A larger boat might suffice

I shall try again, said my youth returning that night

pushed my blow-up kayak into her moat

"Here to play now!"  said the young man goat

She tore at me, razor water flowing down

tossed me over,  a foolish clowning drowned

"come out and play", her words assaulted my ears

violent water whips pulling me beneath her

One more breath,  I shall die from

Rocks of giants, hidden under the river ride

knees and arms flail, racing to escape her wicked course

"come in and play" she taunts me, 

as I lay battered on her stony shore.

Nevermore and never mind, Id rather walk a desert mile,

tame the mountain spine, or perhaps, 

take a lovely summer drive

In that respect, I'd even find wings to fly.

"Come and play with me"  whispered a grinning sky.

Written by Rick Fisher  2nd Revision  Copyright 9/19/11 

The 1st draft can be found here

Online gamers crack AIDS enzyme puzzle - Yahoo! News

Photo: Associated Press
Source: Mediabeast.com

And you thought all those hours your kids were gaming had no real benefit. Now say you're sorry and give them back their xboxes.

Online gamers crack AIDS enzyme puzzle - Yahoo! News:

Diffle County Report: Murder and Deer Sausage - 2nd in a Series

Part 1:  http://themutantmousechronicles.blogspot.com/2011/07/diffle-county-report-body-found-in.html

In Pennsylvania We Eat Our State Animal

Written By Rick Fisher

Aunt Carol was stirring the crockpot when Big Don arrived home.  "Honey, the phone has been ringing off the hook for the past hour."  The phone rang as she spoke.

Big Don picked up the receiver and barked "Hello!"  After 10 minutes of answering “Yes”, “No”, and “No, thank you”, Big Don hung up the phone.  "Well, that was a producer for The Nancy Grace Show on CNN. Nancy wants me to be on her show tomorrow night.  Told them,  Thanks but no thanks."   Don shook his head as he sat down for dinner. "I'm thinking we might have to barricade the highway by tomorrow morning."

"NANCY GRACE?!  YOU WERE ON THE TELEPHONE WITH NANCY GRACE?!?!?!  Aunt Carol dropped a spoon, then she dropped the bowl of Deer Sausage Soup. Then she ran out of the room. Don didn't have to worry about the phone ringing the rest of the night.  Aunt Carol took care of that. By midnight, every living person ( and a few near-dead ones) in Diffle County knew about Linda Malone being found dead in Fletcher's Pond.

After cleaning up Aunt Carol’s mess, Big Don helped himself to three bowlfuls of her world famous Deer Sausage Soup (which is a variation on a Dutch recipe created by the Women's Auxiliary of the Friendship Hook and Ladder Company of East Greenville). The meat was perfectly smoked and the soup tasted delicious- “Never better!”, Big Don said out loud, a happy old grin on his face.

“Hey Auntie, is this Father Figure’s sausage?” Big Don hollered to the living room, then murmured to himself “I doubt it is, this is much sweeter and juicier.” Aunt Carol hollered back from the living room.  “Squirrel brought it over. Such a sweet, yet odd little man!’  Don was too busy chomping down soup to offer his affirmative reply.

Aunt Carol kept the phone lines humming half the night. Some folks swear they saw phone lines smoking on the telephone poles.  Big Don finished dinner and then headed upstairs for an early bedtime.  Tomorrow was going to be a long day.  “I don’t know how I do it!” Don chuckled to himself a short while later, just before falling asleep.

The next morning, Big Don had to drive across Bernie Sharp’s sheep farm to get to Maruice Candelharp’s driveway. From there he crossed Beaver Dam Rd. to enter Creek Lane, which is really nothing more than a dirt trail. He then drove his truck through a thicket of blackberry bushes that had overgrown the trail’s end, his truck climbing up the shoulder and onto the pavement of N Fletcher Road which led directly to the rear of the Grinold Township Municipal building.

The State Police had closed the main highway one mile North of Creek Lane, and one mile South of the Township building after 75+ news vans, satellite trucks, and thousands of rubbernecked lookie-loos in cars and trucks of all sizes descended on the pond. Big Don pulled into the township building, having avoided all the congestion.

When he got out of his truck, he was immediately surrounded by reporters.  “Are you in charge here?  Do you have any comment on the Malone murder?  Are you going to provide us with regular updates?  Is it possible to get an interview with you live on our news program? 

Big Don kept walking, a blank look on his face.  “Sorry folks, I’m just here to pick up a permit.”   The reporters melted away, realizing they had the wrong man.  Big Don walked inside and greeted the makeshift police department assembled in the meeting room, then walked out back to the township garage.  The big trucks were lined up, snow plows firmly attached, ready for the coming winter.

At the back of the garage, four worn-out lazy-boy chairs were waiting, though three were already occupied.  Larry, Squirrel, and The Kid were lounging and talking about Linda Malone, each one arguing the merits of the case.

“Thanks for the deer sausage, Squirrel. Aunt Carol made her world class sausage soup. I’m still feeling it.”  Big Don burped.  

Squirrel smiled.  “No problem, Big Don. I had plenty extra.  Tell her to save me a bowl of that soup.  Never had it before.” 

State Police Captain Jonathan Jenkins walked back into the garage. He had been up all night managing the media circus while searching for evidence.  His usually crisp uniform was wrinkled and his tie was stained with tomato sauce, his salt and pepper hair disheveled from a 3 A.M. attempt to nap in one of the lazy boys.

Big Don leaned against a work counter and greeted Captain Jenkins, "Hi John. You look a little tired. Are you close to catching the killer?  I will want my township building back eventually.”

Captain John managed a grin.  “We have some evidence, found some ATV tracks on the lake path. The path leads back to State Game Lands and the parking lot on Carter Hill Road.  We found more evidence in the parking lot. We made a cast of the ire tracks and I have men walking every square inch of the woods in between. We have no idea why someone would have chosen this location to dump her body.  It’s a missing piece in the puzzle, the mot-.”

Captain John paused, realizing he didn’t know everyone in the room. He turned to Squirrel and, without smiling said, “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Captain Jonathan Jenkins, Barracks Commander of the Pennsylvania State Police.”  

“Nice to um..meet you, Captain.” Squirrel managed to say.  They did not shake hands.

Captain John looked at Squirrel and frowned. “Everything I just said is confidential, understood?  My words never leave this room.  I’ve known these boys a long time.  It only takes one screw-up to get yourself kicked off the need-to-know list.”  Captain John turned to Big Don.  “Don, we are holding a press conference in about 30 minutes.

"Need to Know List," Larry repeated, like a parrot.

"Don, we’d like a local official to answer a few general questions about Grinold Township,”  said Captain John.

"Local Official", Larry repeated.

Big Don smiled and nodded.  “I think we can find someone for that.”   Captain John thanked him gave a general wave, and a longer than normal stare at Squirrel before walking back to the office area.   

Big Don sat down, yawned and stretched. “Well kid, we can do it with you or without you. Squirrel, looks like you made a lifelong friend at the State Police barracks. Better not drink and drive.”   Squirrel shrugged, his gray-blue eyes slightly larger than normal.

"Do it with or without you", repeated Larry

The Kid shook his head repeatedly. “I’m not going up there, Don. No way.  I’m just a Township employee.”  The kid squirmed in his chair, adjusting the John Deere cap on his head.


“I will tell you what to say.  Remember that time you needed a gift for your girlfriend and we helped you pick it out?  Don was smiling so hard, his face was about to crack.

“HELP ME OUT?  You told me to buy new equipment for bow hunting.  That she would appreciate the fresh meat.  She was furious!”   The Kid kicked at some dirt on the floor.

"Help you out.," said Larry, as he read the Diffle County Daily Reporter.

“We didn’t think you’d actually go through with it.”  Big Don laughed out loud.  “OK, here is what you’ll say.  Grinold Township has been around longer than most can remember.  We have clean water, beautiful lakes and streams, plenty of hunting and fishing.  Now, if you need more information than that, Diffle County has elected officials who need votes. Go talk to them.”

The kid shook his head.  “I ain’t goin’ up in front of those cameras, Big Don.”

Thirty minutes later, The Kid, also known as Timothy Westin, Grinold Township Public Relations Director, talked for 30 minutes about hunting and fishing in Grinold Township.  Most of the reporters had already left by the time The Kid was finished with his speech.

Afterwards, Captain and Big Don had a private talk in Don’s office.  The only unusual thing in the woods that the police observed was a deer had been killed and gutted not far off the ATV Trail. Hunting season was at least two months away. Big Don didn’t think much of that until he burped.

Smoking Deer Sausage

All characters are fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental, incidental, and not meant to hurt, harm, nor offend your tender sensibilities.  

Diffle County Update: Aunt Carol's Deer Sausage Soup Recipe

This writer has had a busy week after our perfect vacation. Because of that, my characters in Diffle County have been less than cooperative.  While I almost have the entire murder story figured out, I still have to talk to the Reilly clan and maybe Big Don one more time to make certain I have all the facts straight. In the meantime, why not take a look at Aunt Carol's recipe for Deer Sausage Soup!  

And remember, if Deer sausage is out of season (not likely in Diffle County), you can use regular, boring smoked sausage.  If you do, try to use one of the local butchers like John Hemstattler & Sons, over in East Greenville, just past the traffic light on the left.  Look for the cow in the window.

Aunt Carol's Deer Sausage Soup

4 lg. potatoes, peeled and diced (like for potato salad)
1 lg. onion, diced
1 lg. green pepper, diced
1 lb. smoked deer sausage, cut into small pieces
Cover with water, add salt and pepper to taste, cook until potatoes are
done, then add: 1 can red kidney beans (don't drain)
2-3 Tablespoons of sugar
Heat to boiling point and thicken with flour water (just thicken slightly)
**sausage can be browned before cooking, if desired)

Diffle County is a work of fiction, however the recipe is true.  All characters reside in the mind of the author. Any resemblance to persons now living or already gone to meet their maker is purely coincidental, incidental, and not worthy of your frivolous lawsuit.  Spend your money on something worthwhile like a vacation. Go somewhere nice, like Washington State, or perhaps, Diffle County, where you thought you were in the first place.

It's About Time...

...for another Diffle County story!  Coming Soon.."Murder and Deer Sausage"  the surprisingly conclusion to our murder mystery.

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