Saturday, October 16, 2010

Stalking Diners, Drive-Ins, & Dives - Ways to Spice up the Blog

We’ve been tossing around a few ideas on how to spice up this blog. Ideas have been tossed around like American footballs and we think we have a plan you will enjoy. Here is our list of ideas to date:

1. Stalking Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives
We think this is our best idea yet.  For those outside the United States who haven’t seen this television show-  Chef Guy drives around the country in a convertible to unique diners, drive-ins, and dives in search of the comfort food,  crazy cuisine, and fine dining in low places.  It is a wonderful, entertaining show even though Chef Guy hates eggs.  How can you go to a diner for breakfast and not have eggs?

We don’t plan on tailgating Chef Guy and getting ourselves arrested.  We just want to be certain  *cough cough*  that his reports are accurate and reliable.  While we don't have chef credentials, we do have 4-star palates and really, what more do you need?   This will require taking many day and overnight trips to places like Kentucky, Tennessee, Maryland, Virginia, and New Jersey.  Oh wait,  we’ve already been to Jefferson Diner in Sparta.  We can scratch Jersey from the list!

2. Writing about Local Government Meetings
    On second thought, this is a bad idea.
Phoenix Roller Coaster

3. Wooden Roller Coaster Review
This idea could very well turn into a Vlog.  We would travel across the United States, Canada, (and Mexico after the drug war is over), and ride every wooden roller coaster we can find and then file reviews on our blog.   We would establish a strict ratings criteria that would include:  Upchuck Meter, Velocity,  Air-Time Evaluation,  Rickety Factor,  First Car Vs. Last Car,  Speed Factor, Fear Factor.

4.  Stalking Man vs. Food
Adam
This is a spin-off idea from the first idea.  The one HUGE difference is we will try to win every challenge Adam has lost. We think we can do this. Bunny, stop shaking your head, we can DO THIS!  There will also be a strict ratings criteria which would include:  Upchuck Meter,  Upchuck Velocity,  First Bite vs. Last Bite Smile Meter,  Fear Factor

5.  Gnome Reality Show
Derek Acorah
This is another great idea.  We would create a Vlog reality show about the gnomes that live under the basement of our 1870’s house. We would chronicle their on-going battle with the possessed bunnies in the backyard.  We hope to have a guest appearance from Derek Acorah, the psychic from “Most Haunted”. He was the first person on television to declare that bunnies could be possessed.  In fairness, we will ask the gnomes to sign a release.  I don’t want to blur their gnomish faces.




"Mr. Pigeon, you're under arrest."
6.  Zoning Cops     'Bad boy bad boy, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when the zoning officer cites you'    Inspired by the “chicken bones incident” this past week where the complainant witnessed his neighbor throwing chicken bones and a pork chop into the brush across the street. “I have two witnesses!”. cried the complainant. He also threatened to write a letter to the Mayor if I didn’t take immediate action.  I went to the house, approached the front door, and the tenant made a break for it.  I gave chase and we leaped fences and jumped cars until finally, I tackled him and forced him to sign the non-traffic citation.  Exciting!!!!!!

7. Zoning Court
    Are any of the actors from Night Court available for this?

8. Impressions of a Tourist in....

In this scenario, I would get paid to travel all over the world with my brother, Russ, and he would chat people up, I would listen, and then record my impressions, quoting foreigners without their knowledge or consent.  I would change their names to protect them from the 30-50 readers who drop by Mutant Mouse Chronicles each day.




9. Blogging  While Doing Household Chores
We are stoked about these ideas and will get them right into production (except no.2).  I can’t wait for our first report!  Now, if you will excuse me, I have to finish folding the comforters and get the hell out of this laundromat.
I don't know this person.















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