Friday, February 8, 2008

The Media Spin Cycle and Cows





Written by A. Holstein

The media pounds away at the message, leaving us convinced that the slice of the apple they show us is a whole apple, delightfully waiting for us to eat right it from the tree. Even if we can't reach the upper branches, we still want that media-created apple. Even if thr apple isn't full and ripe, and almost touching the ground- the media wants us to drool over the little green thing.

This guy doesn't have a chance, they say. Even though this guy won more states than that other guy. This guy's religion is his albatross, the press inform us. Then they run over to us and ask us our opinion of their slanted stories-and we, the cows in the field, are sure to answer.

"How is the field today?", they ask.
"Quite good, thank you", we reply.
"Do you like the sun today?", they ask.
"We like the sun very much", we reply.

"Welcome to Hardsell. I'm your host, Chris Ratchews. Latest polls show the sun is well ahead of the clouds. We have our team of experts right here to discuss this latest development...Frank Fullofit, what does this mean?"

"The clouds should drop out now and let the sun in."

"Tina Noknows, do you agree? You've had your head in the clouds for some time now."

"Well, Chris, the clouds did well in the Northwest, but they need to get those Southern cows in line and they have been trying to do just that, but those cows are very, very conservative and just won't follow the clouds, not as long as the sky stays in the race."

"Frank Fullofit, what about West Virginia? On the first ballot, the majority of cows chose the clouds, so the sun tells its delegates to throw their votes to the sky and then the sky opens up on the clouds and they cant get high enough to reach the sky. Isn't this the type of politics we are all tired of seeing?" Isn't this a backroom deal to let the clouds cover the sun, and then later the sun is going to burn the clouds off the field and out of the race? Then what happens to the cows?

"No Chris, that is the beauty of caucuses. The cows have to have a clear majority and this is how it gets done. The clouds may have more delegates than the sky, but simply can not compete against both the sky and the sun. And the word coming from our sources close to the clouds is that they are going to have make some tough decisions in the coming days - it may be time for them to let the sun shine in."

And on another channel, the popular program Cowline picks up the spin.

"Good evening, I am Randy Field and this is Cowline. Despite winning 6 states in last night's elections, it appears the end is in sight for the clouds. They have spent millions of their own money, but now it is nearing the end. The numbers are against them, they are running a distant third, despite being second overall in the delegate count nationwide. Our polls show they cannot win against the sun and the sky."

And the following day on every news channel,

"After a night of deep disappointment, the clouds have announced they are suspending their campaign."

It would be a better election if the idiot press would leave us cows alone and just report the news. Because, as Iowa and New Hampshire clearly showed, polls only tell you what the cows are feeling on the sunny day. They may feel different on the cloudy day. The sky is always nice to look at too. Sometimes clouds makes pretty shapes, like that one over there- look! It's a woman Senator from New York!

The national press have become great manipulators in the race for President, pushing their own agenda and ultimately limiting our choices. And we, a nation of cows, are left out in our field-getting ourselves milked the entire time.
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