Then we had one of the poorest quality dinners ever and it included the worst service ever (what a gift, huh?) at T.G.I.F. With an indignant look on her face, Sweetie Angel declared, "You know what TGIF stands for? Totally Gross Inedible Food!"
One afternoon, we were discussing how Friendlys used to have great sundaes, but now all you get are these mini-scoops of ice cream. I mentioned that the Chocolate scoops looked more like little balls of poop- and Friendlys soon became Pooplies.
And more chain restaurants earned new restaurant names so we decided that we should post our list for all to enjoy. Here it goes:
Ruby Tuesdays - Ruby Ewwwwwsdays
Burger King - Burger Thing
Texas Roadhouse - Texas Roadkill
Perkins - Pukins
Applebees - Crapplebees
Chilis - Smellies
Don Pablos - Don Pukos
Jack Creek Steakhouse - Jackchit Pukehouse
Wendys - Lil Red's Squaremeat
McDonalds - McRonalds's Fat Farm
IHOP - I-SNOT
Waffle House - Waffle Arse
Pizza Hut - Pizza Slut
Outback - Spoutcrack
T.G.I.F. - Totally Gross Inedible Food
Cracker Barrel - Crapper Barrel
Bob Evans - Hog's Heaven
Friendlys - Pooplies
Arbys - Slarbies (we also like to call it Barfies)
KFC - Krunchy Fried Cats
Dairy Queen - Hairy Queen
Subway - Scumway
In'nOut Burgers - In'nOut urge
Dominos - Vomitnose
Quizznos - Quizzblows
Hardees - Hardlys
Pappa John's - You shouldn't poke fun at your father. Yeah, I'm talkin' to you.Of course, we haven't restricted ourselves to food chains. A few years ago, the W blew out on the Walmart sign. We've been calling it Almart ever since.
There is a Chinese restaurant near us with the name Wah Shing. We don't think the food is very good. The place is a little rundown. Some folks in our neighborhood refer to it as Wah Shing Your Arse. The name has a certain appeal to it even if the restaurant doesn't.
We had a dog once who would eat the kitty litter-covered excrement out of the litter box. We called it Kittified Crunchies. Or Kitty Krunchies. Or our favorite nickname, Krunchy Kitten Krap. We couldn't keep that dog's face our of the box. Probably what killed him too. Just like we love all that delicious fast food we eat month after month, year after year. Probably kill us too.
There you have it. Any moment we expect the legions of attorneys who defend the fast food conglomerates to contact us and demand we remove this post. And we will, right after we enjoy a few Rooburgers from the Fat Farm and some Slarby fries.
We know other people make up names too. What about you? Have you got a few restaurant nicknames to share?