Story by Rick Fisher All characters and places are fictional. Any resemblance to real folks we know is purely intentional coincidental; Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved. NSA file No. 2314566780000999330000.1302df
Big Don (or Country Dave if you prefer) walked Jesse Kern through the garage to a flight of stairs that led to Don's office above the town's meeting room. Big Don had a Pepsi in one hand and a legal pad filled with numbers in the other hand. Jesse Kern stood for a moment in the hallway outside of of Don's always-open door.
"Come in and plop yourself in a chair" said Big Don as he dropped his own large frame into his Staples-discounted 99-dollar black-plastic-fake leather office chair.
Jesse sat down in one of two provincial chairs that clearly belonged in the home Mrs. Carolyn Dorshimer, President of the East Greenville Garden Society. Jesse hadn't noticed that the chairs were completely out of place in a municipal office. He did notice they were rather uncomfortable. Perhaps that is why Big Don liked them so much.
"That chair you're sitting in we pulled out of the dumpster on clean-up day," said Country Dave (or Big Don if you prefer) who smiled broadly, his grayish-blue eyes twinkling with mirth. "The Dorshimers drove in with a truck full of furniture. They pretended to be Township residents. Larry asked them what road they lived on and she politely said, 'We live right off Main Street on a private lane." We helped them dump their furniture and then I told them, 'Now If you come back with more junk be certain to bring someone who lives on Main Street' They didn't come back. You know she is President of the Garden Society."
Jesse nodded.
Big Don went on, without barely taking a breath. "I hear you have been tracking a white buck. I remember when me and my pop, God rest his soul, saw a white buck. We had been hunting all day and hadn't seen a single deer. We had just gotten back to the cabin and had sat down on the front porch with a few refreshments. Our guns were leaning against the wall just outside the front door. We may have been onto our second or third refreshment when down the lane trots a white buck. He stops 30 feet from the porch, directly in front of us and stops to nibble on some grass. We sat in our porch rockers watching him for about two or three minutes. He was a 10 pointer with a fine rack. What a trophy. I quietly reached over for my gun."
Big Don took a sip of his Pepsi as he got up from his chair, which groaned and cracked from the loss of his weight. Big Don held the soda can like a gun, pretending to point it at a deer.
"So I leveled my rifle and took aim. I was about to release the safety when Pop yells 'HA!' jumps out of his chair and slams the palms of his hands down hard on the porch railing several times. He even scared me. The buck leaps into the air with a snort and was gone before I could fire. I turned to Pop and said, 'Why the hell did you do that? I had him perfect in my sights!'
Big Don looked Jesse right in the eyes. "Pop looked at me straight in the eyes. 'There's some things you don't kill. It's bad luck to shoot a white deer."
Then Big Don grinned that old just between us grin he was famous for. "So what can East Greenville Township do for you?
Jesse Kern paused briefly then replied, "I don't believe in luck and I want that deer on my wall. I've been tracking him for quite a while now but he's vanished these past two weeks. Do you know anyone who has seen him? Al Jacobs thought he saw the Albino last week across the pond."
Big Don shook his head . "I don't know anyone who has seen your trophy in the past few weeks, Jesse. Did you check down at the Legion? "Jesse nodded his head. Don paused in thought for a moment and then broke into another smile. "I have just the thing for you. We have a GameSpy camera you might be able to use. Diffle County Waste Management gave it to us. We had folks dumping at the dead end on Shale Pit Lane. We used the camera to try to catch them in the act."
Don got up and walked over to tall file cabinet, pulled out the bottom drawer, and removed a camouflage-covered plastic box. He set the box on the desk, opened the face of it, and pulled out a camera.
"This is a motion sensor camera. After it is activated by movement, it will film for 15 seconds. It has night vision too. You place it in this protective box, lock it in, and secure the box to a tree. This camera does an excellent job of filming deer. That's a fact we learned on Shale Pit Lane." They both chuckled. Big Don handed the camera and box to Jesse. "Try it out for a few weeks but our zoning officer will want it back so try to remind yourself to return it.."
Jesse stood up and thanked Big Don. "I will try to remind myself. And I know exactly where I want to place this camera." Jesse looked down at the camera in his hand.
"Good!" Big Don Exclaimed, "Now I've got to get through these numbers before the State Auditor arrives. Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!"
Jesse stood motionless for a moment in front of Don's desk. Don sat back down in his groaning chair, grabbed a pencil off the desk and adjusted his adding machine.
"Don, why don't you use a computer to add those numbers?" asked Jesse Kern.
"Don't trust computers," Don replied, "Never did and never will. I can add just fine on my own. Then I know it's right." Big Don waved Jesse towards the door. "Now go catch your great white buck and don't bring any bad luck back into this office!"
A few hours later, Jesse Kern was ten feet high in an old oak tree pointing the Township camera down a woods path on the State Game lands directly behind his farm. He had seen enough buck rubs high up on the smaller trees to know there was a buck with a big rack moving through these woods. Maybe he would get lucky and make a great discovery.
Chapter 1 of This Story Here
Big Don (or Country Dave if you prefer) walked Jesse Kern through the garage to a flight of stairs that led to Don's office above the town's meeting room. Big Don had a Pepsi in one hand and a legal pad filled with numbers in the other hand. Jesse Kern stood for a moment in the hallway outside of of Don's always-open door.
"Come in and plop yourself in a chair" said Big Don as he dropped his own large frame into his Staples-discounted 99-dollar black-plastic-fake leather office chair.
Jesse sat down in one of two provincial chairs that clearly belonged in the home Mrs. Carolyn Dorshimer, President of the East Greenville Garden Society. Jesse hadn't noticed that the chairs were completely out of place in a municipal office. He did notice they were rather uncomfortable. Perhaps that is why Big Don liked them so much.
"That chair you're sitting in we pulled out of the dumpster on clean-up day," said Country Dave (or Big Don if you prefer) who smiled broadly, his grayish-blue eyes twinkling with mirth. "The Dorshimers drove in with a truck full of furniture. They pretended to be Township residents. Larry asked them what road they lived on and she politely said, 'We live right off Main Street on a private lane." We helped them dump their furniture and then I told them, 'Now If you come back with more junk be certain to bring someone who lives on Main Street' They didn't come back. You know she is President of the Garden Society."
Jesse nodded.
Big Don went on, without barely taking a breath. "I hear you have been tracking a white buck. I remember when me and my pop, God rest his soul, saw a white buck. We had been hunting all day and hadn't seen a single deer. We had just gotten back to the cabin and had sat down on the front porch with a few refreshments. Our guns were leaning against the wall just outside the front door. We may have been onto our second or third refreshment when down the lane trots a white buck. He stops 30 feet from the porch, directly in front of us and stops to nibble on some grass. We sat in our porch rockers watching him for about two or three minutes. He was a 10 pointer with a fine rack. What a trophy. I quietly reached over for my gun."
Big Don took a sip of his Pepsi as he got up from his chair, which groaned and cracked from the loss of his weight. Big Don held the soda can like a gun, pretending to point it at a deer.
"So I leveled my rifle and took aim. I was about to release the safety when Pop yells 'HA!' jumps out of his chair and slams the palms of his hands down hard on the porch railing several times. He even scared me. The buck leaps into the air with a snort and was gone before I could fire. I turned to Pop and said, 'Why the hell did you do that? I had him perfect in my sights!'
Big Don looked Jesse right in the eyes. "Pop looked at me straight in the eyes. 'There's some things you don't kill. It's bad luck to shoot a white deer."
Then Big Don grinned that old just between us grin he was famous for. "So what can East Greenville Township do for you?
Jesse Kern paused briefly then replied, "I don't believe in luck and I want that deer on my wall. I've been tracking him for quite a while now but he's vanished these past two weeks. Do you know anyone who has seen him? Al Jacobs thought he saw the Albino last week across the pond."
Big Don shook his head . "I don't know anyone who has seen your trophy in the past few weeks, Jesse. Did you check down at the Legion? "Jesse nodded his head. Don paused in thought for a moment and then broke into another smile. "I have just the thing for you. We have a GameSpy camera you might be able to use. Diffle County Waste Management gave it to us. We had folks dumping at the dead end on Shale Pit Lane. We used the camera to try to catch them in the act."
Don got up and walked over to tall file cabinet, pulled out the bottom drawer, and removed a camouflage-covered plastic box. He set the box on the desk, opened the face of it, and pulled out a camera.
"This is a motion sensor camera. After it is activated by movement, it will film for 15 seconds. It has night vision too. You place it in this protective box, lock it in, and secure the box to a tree. This camera does an excellent job of filming deer. That's a fact we learned on Shale Pit Lane." They both chuckled. Big Don handed the camera and box to Jesse. "Try it out for a few weeks but our zoning officer will want it back so try to remind yourself to return it.."
Jesse stood up and thanked Big Don. "I will try to remind myself. And I know exactly where I want to place this camera." Jesse looked down at the camera in his hand.
"Good!" Big Don Exclaimed, "Now I've got to get through these numbers before the State Auditor arrives. Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!"
Jesse stood motionless for a moment in front of Don's desk. Don sat back down in his groaning chair, grabbed a pencil off the desk and adjusted his adding machine.
"Don, why don't you use a computer to add those numbers?" asked Jesse Kern.
"Don't trust computers," Don replied, "Never did and never will. I can add just fine on my own. Then I know it's right." Big Don waved Jesse towards the door. "Now go catch your great white buck and don't bring any bad luck back into this office!"
A few hours later, Jesse Kern was ten feet high in an old oak tree pointing the Township camera down a woods path on the State Game lands directly behind his farm. He had seen enough buck rubs high up on the smaller trees to know there was a buck with a big rack moving through these woods. Maybe he would get lucky and make a great discovery.
Chapter 1 of This Story Here
Diffle County Historical Society Note: Big Don is a Grinold Township Supervisor. There is no Main Street in Grinold Township, Diffle County. Mr. and Mrs. Martin Dorshimer are residents of East Greenville Borough, Diffle County, PA They reside on Carolyn Lane. Mrs. Dorshimer has been President of the East Greenville Garden Society for over 24 years.
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